FUNNY CRAIGSLIST AD: How I Sold a Shabby Beanbag to a Doctor

Today if you want to sell something (from belly button lint to human-size hamster wheel), you type in www.craigslist.org. Then you go on describing your possession you’re trying to get rid of for more than it’s worth, throw in some marketing buzz words, upload pixelated images you took with your phone with blinds down, click post and then the tough part starts.

W A I T I N G.

Upon constantly refreshing your inbox to find 0 messages from all those buyers fighting to buy whatever you’re selling and double-checking whether your AWESOME LIMITED 12 YO RUG FOR THE BEST PRICE ad is still active, you realize you’ve been silently rejected. What is a silent rejection you may ask. It’s the worst rejection of them all — nobody gives a damn to even bother to reject you and that hurts. I’ve been there and that’s why one day I looked at myself in the mirror and gave myself a confidence speech (cue in Rocky theme song).

Martina, come on, you are paying for marketing major, you must have learned something by now. Go out there and prove it. You know that if you manage to sell this beanbag that takes up half of your apartment, you’ll be able to get that job at Google, become a CEO and conquer the world. That’s all it takes. Now go and sell!

And that’s exactly what I did. I treated that beanbag like it deserved to be treated all this time. And I spilled all my newly found love and appreciation for it into a brand new Craigslist ad with better pictures and a link to Instagram account (because if dogs, cats, hamsters and hedgehogs can have separate Insta accounts, so can your beloved piece of furniture). After hitting that POST button, a miracle happened. My inbox got flooded with messages from potential buyers. I decided to go with a doctor because he added two jokes and extra $50. So before you tell yourself “What a waste of time reading this junk,” I’m including four pieces of advice to keep you interested:

  1. Make it interesting
  2. Keep it funny and memorable
  3. Take images with a good phone and make sure there’s lots of light
  4. Create Instagram account for whatever you’re selling

And here comes my ad:

WARNING: This ad may cause AOD (Awesomeness Overdose), ILS (Instant Love Syndrome) & WTMCID (Way Too Much Coolness Induced Diarrhea). If you are experiencing above stated problems, please rinse your eyes with lukewarm water for two minutes & contact your doctor immediately.

Do you want someone that listens and does not give you shit? Do you need love & passion in your life? Do you crave someone that gives you that soft touch, warm fuzziness & passionate gentleness on the floor of any room? Then do a happy dance because you just clicked on a page that’s about to change your life.

In English speaking world known as a bean bag, in France known as “un macaron géant” it is also known as the greatest bean bag Vancouver has ever had the privilege of existing around.

Did I hear you say BULLSHIT? Hard to believe it, eh? This is THE bean bag that has absolutely nothing to do with bags neither beans. So I’ll just call it a fluffy cloud from now on. It’s so fluffy you just want to lie on it all day long. Then Monday comes, you gotta go to work and life starts to suck a bit but HEY, look at that fluffy macaron. Look at it! Feel happier now? I knew it.

Still having second thoughts? Keep on reading. This fluffiness looks like Transformer if Transformer were a huge pillow. You can make a couch out of it you can turn it into a chair. Having a gf/bf coming by? Turn it into a love seat. You can even jump on it, eat dinner or do yoga. Heck, it’s even more flexible than your Ashtanga Yoga teacher. It comes in red color for a very good reason. It’s the color of passion, life & fire. It’s so popular Taylor S. named her entire album after it. If this red starts playing different colors, just unzip this beauty & your washing machine will do a trick. Voila, looks like brand new. Talking about brand it’s JAXX aka ROLEX in the world of bean bags.

If you are a kind of person that likes to read numbers, the digits below are there for you.

Fluffy Cloud was born November 26, 2014 sharing the birthdays with Rita Ora, Tina Turner or Danny Welbeck. It’s 5 months and 19 days old now & been only very lightly used. I’ve adopted this brainchild for $387.51 & it can be yours for only $150 (if you think your negotiation skills are on point, try me). It’s beautiful & super comfy but way too big for one bedroom apartment. Fluffy accommodates two adults + their offspring & is filled with shredded (mmmm, cheese NOT) ECOFOAM filling for MAX comfort. Fluffy’s 6’ dimensions: 72" x 72" x 20" Weight: 40 Lbs & it was made with pride & love in Atlanta, GA.

If you’d like to learn more about Fluffy, click this link: http://www.jaxxbeanbags.com/cocoon-bean-bag-lounger.html & read all those 5 star reviews.

Fluffy is so awesome it has its own IG account: @fluffybeanbag

Ok, so ready steady 5–4–3–2–1 GO & BUY before it’s too late!

A little nut that may contain traces of human. Other ingredients: love for social + digital + my fam + life